Carol Cain

"My Most Exciting Food Experience"
The Day I Learned to Cook Like Abuela 

My fondest memories as a child, and really the moments I remember being most cared for, are when watching my Dominican Abuelita cook for me.

I was always in awe of the passion and focus she put into her dishes. In the Dominican Republic, I would go with her to the local bodega and watch her as she would order just enough of anything she needed to last her one day.

"5 cents of sugar and 10 cents of flour," she would request. "25 cents of cheese." And the bodeguero would wrap up her items in brown paper or place them in a brown paper bag.

She was almost always in the kitchen, especially in the mornings, and would leave the front of the stove only upon hearing the bell of the vegetable and produce vendor, who every day, around 10am, would roll his wooden cart down the neighborhood streets yelling out his merchandise.

"Ring! Ring! Yuca! Plantains! Sweet potato! Cilantro! Parsley! Garlic!"

I would see women exiting every household at the same time, their flip flops flapping harmoniously on the heated pavement, as they wiped their hands on their aprons and pulled out pesos from their bras.

My Abuela would bring in all her purchases and lay them out on the counter, filling the kitchen with the scent of fresh greens and herbs. And then she would slice and dice. The clacking sounds of the wooden mortar and pestle crushing oregano, salt, and garlic, main components of the Dominican sazon, as the oil in the hot calderon nearby sizzled. 

And as I ate her delicious meals day after day, I doubted that anyone, let alone me, would ever master her technique or inherit her gift.

I remember her smile as she would look over her husband, children, and grandchildren with satisfaction and pride in how she managed to bring us all together over her meals.

Eventually, I left home, went to college, got my own place, and as any good single American girl would, ate frozen meals, and things that required no more than an English Muffin, tomato sauce, and shredded cheese. I had long forgotten the days spent in my abuela's kitchen. The smells of her pots, the flavors of her dishes.

And then, without warning, she died. On an early fall day, close to Thanksgiving. It shook me to my core, for I saw her as the glue that held the pieces of my childhood together.

But it wasn't until another Thanksgiving Day a few years later, with a family of my own, that I stood starring at the kitchen counter, the many pots and empty pans before me. The herbs, spices, and greens spread out like a field of roots, and an empty wooden mortar and pestle. It had been difficult for me to find all the ingredients I wanted, as I only knew of their names in Spanish, the way my Abuela had taught me. I had to rely on scents and visuals for a lot of my purchases because I didn't understand what the names in English meant for many things. But it was important for me. 

I had been missing my Abuela, and wanted to honor her with a meal for my husband and kids.  I was scared, unsure of what the steps were. It had been so long. So, I grabbed a bunch of cilantro, put it to my nose, closed my eyes, and tried my hardest to remember.

A few hours later, I was standing over almost every dish my grandmother had ever made for us around the same time of year. Pernil, rice with peas, chicken pastellitos, fried plantains, black beans, and on and on and on. As family and guests arrived they exclaimed how the smell of my dishes reached as far down as the entry hallway of our building. My children's eyes widened at the sight of everything I had made appear from our tiny NYC kitchen, and my Irish/Scottish husband drooled in delight.

Like my grandmother, and mother before me, I watched as my husband and children enjoyed my meal. As family and friends came together to eat my dishes, the dishes of my grandmother, recipes from our island home.

This, my first (Dominican) Thanksgiving dinner, the one where my Abuela and I became one in the kitchen, is by far my most memorable and exciting food experience.

I can't really explain how I knew, or what I did. It was, and still is to this day, such an automatic collection of movements. I've tried to show my husband how to replicate the dishes he so loves for when I am not home to make them. I've tried to explain to friends how to make certain things that they want recipes for. But it never turns out the same.

Now, I bring my boys into the kitchen with me, and teach them how to crush the ingredients, and pick out the herbs. I make them smell the cilantro, and taste as I cook. And I hope that when they grown up, it is these moments, and the dishes that result from them, that remind them of home and how much they are loved.

For to me, that is the essence of what great food is all about.

8 comments

Dawn Sandomeno Gave you 5 stars Carol! I look forward to reading your post - Dawn

Dawn Sandomeno I am in love with your story Carol! This is truly what food does, brings us together, makes us happy, creates memories that last forever. I wish so badly that I could have sat in your Abuela's kitchen just once.

c2cmom What a cool story connecting four generations of your family! I love that you were excited to teach your kids about your ancestry through cooking, as kids are such multi-sensory learners. The scents, colors, textures and tastes of the experiences you give them will surely stick with them - several decades and many miles from the bodega your grandmother frequented!

momconfessionals I love this story. These are all recipes and knowledge that can't be found in a recipe... the history are memories for a lifetime. 5 stars!

Chefdruck Carol, What a beautiful story. I can't wait to see you in NYC and celebrate this post by eating some Dominican food with you. You are a gorgeous writer. I gave you 5 stars! Vanessa

Carol Cain Thanks Everyone for your support, for taking the time to read and vote, and for sharing your thoughts with me!

amy_green So often, I feel connected to my Grandma Ruth when I'm cooking - I learned so much from her. Thanks for sharing such a special and heartfelt food experience. It's been my pleasure to connect with you through this contest - loved our brief chat on Twitter. Best of luck!

Octavia65 I wish that I could vote for each of you!! Your're all great in my opinion, especially you Amy. I have learned so much from in about baking and thank you so much!